POF Dating – For The Aspiring Expert.
Written by a friend of mine, reproduced by kind permission.
I have to say i’ve had a lot of experience over the years doing POF Dating and i’ve learned a lot over that time. What I like most about it is the ability you have to try out different things just to see what reactions you get.
POF Dating Tip 1) – Choose POF
In my personal experience the best site for getting girls out, simply due to the sheer quantity, is POF. The sheer amount of girls on there means you can play the numbers game endlessly and never run out of chicks, send hundreds of messages, spam the place and still find girls. Also its free, and actually has a lot of good options despite its shoddy visuals. The downside is that the standard is generally low and the decent looking girls are so rare that they will often have left before reading your message due to being spammed so hard by desperate guys.
POF Dating Guide Tips 2) Your profile.
I’ve changed my mind a few times over the years as to what’s more important, your first message or your profile. I now think they are equally important and you need to get these right because the thing about POF Dating is your’e putting yourself in a hotbed of competition and girls cant be arsed to message every guy, unless he’s pretty special.
So what do you put in your POF Dating profile? Well the thing you need to get across in this section is that you’re special, you’re different and interesting and are not the same as the other million guys she’s just seen. Your POF dating profile has to display an element of personality. Simply writing a list of your interests is not enough or talking about your job is not enough.
Here is the POF Dating profile blurb i’ve included in my profile for the past couple of months, which has seen me suddenly go from getting 2 or 3 random messages a day from girls writing to me first, to 10 -12 a day on average, which I can tell you is a very high number for a guy:
“Ok.. the truth is, I cant do it any more, i cant just go around having flings. Quite frankly i’m 32 and its boring, i’m settling down. I’ve been unfairly branded a b*stard, mainly by myself and possibly a bit of a ladies man, mainly… er … by myself too.
But now i’d really just like a nice girlfriend, who likes dancing like a mong in front of me, watching dvds on a couch, playing with my hair, giving me a stupid name and also repeatedly drags me into the bedroom till I get annoyed by it.
If you are in fact any of those things, you are allowed to get in touch with me, not touch me, get in touch with me.”
I’ve experimented with different POF Dating profiles many times and by far this is my best one. Mainly as at the time I was being pretty honest. I did want a girlfriend, and I was a bit of a b*stard to girls, and I did want all those things.
What I like most about it is that its quite honest, something girls constantly mention they like about it, but its also very playful, its not overlong, its got unusual wording and stands out, I doubt anyone else has written the same thing. It also pretty much sums me up.
Now also its displaying a number of attributes that i’m happy to tell girls about. Firstly its showing girls that I was a bit of a ladies man or a badboy, which girls secretly love, but that I want to change and the right girl could make me settle down! Thats a girls dream! I previously had an POF Dating Pofile that purely showed me as a b*stard but that didnt work, girls just hated me, only very certain girls responded to that.
Also it shows the kind of girl i’d like to meet, I quite like ditsy girls who like doing things like snuggling and looking stupid. All girls like to think of themselves as a bit stupid sometimes and like a guy whos ok with that.
Mostly though, my POF Dating profile has plenty of talking points. The dancing like a mong thing is what everyone responds to, as its different and funny but what you need to do is have points of interest in your profile that a girl can easily say something funny to you about, it gives you a conversation for the next few messages.
So you need to be conveying your personality, which you hopefully have. Most people fall into the trap that you just write about what you do… but thats not who you are really. She can meet a million people who like music and football and going out with mates etc.. it doesnt make you stand out.
But really its how you write things that makes the difference, not what you write. Ok I reckon i’m pretty witty which is one of my strengths so I use that, but thats a good skill to develop. Maybe your’e not witty, maybe your quite analytical and serious, I dont know what to do in that situation.. give up??
I would say try to be reasonably honest about who you are, but be accepting of it and dont apologise for any of your weaknesses and strengths.
POF Dating Profile Tips 3:/ Mistakes to avoid when POF Dating writing profiles
Some mistakes i’ve seen guys make when writing their POF Dating profile:
1) Making it too long. Nobody wants to read an essay, its boring and it shows your’e putting too much effort into this. Remember just because your’e doing online dating doesnt mean you NEED to do it to get girls. Put in the very minimal effort to get the right effect.
2) Listing what you do in a very matter of fact way. Again very boring.
3) Writing a POF Dating profile which actually goes completely against your personality, you will be found out very quickly if your’e a shy loner who’s trying to be a playboy. Dont steal other peoples POF Dating profile as it will mess you up in the long run.
POF Dating Profile Tips 4) Profile photos.
Ok i’m not an ugly chap by any stretch of the imagination, so thats going to help. Whatever you say girls are on some level kind of shallow so will judge you on your photos. But its not the end of the world. All it means is for every hundred messages you send out you might get a few less replies than a good looking guy. Deal with it.
But you can maximise your responses and the effect that your photos have by selecting a variety of photos that sum you up, show you in a good light and make you seem quite well rounded.
POF Dating Profile Tips 5) Profile Photos To Avoid
Three major mistakes guys tend to make when they post up photos are:
1) Photos of them taken with a webcam, which is normally terrible because it shows you home alone, probably masturbating and the lighting is always bad.
2) Photos of your car, immediately makes you look like a tw*t or a thick chav.
3) Photos of you with not top on. Even if you’ve got a hot bod in a lot of cases this still makes you look like a thick tw*t whos up himself. It can get results, but you alienate a large percentage of girls by doing it. You can be topless if your on a beach on holiday.. alone in your room = tw*t.
Now there was a study recently by a dating website that showed that girls responded much more to guys have pictures of themselves with cute animals and pictures of them smiling.. I think, dont quote me on that. But thats almost certainly the case. I’ve included a picture of me with a dolphin and a small puppy, a couple of pictures of me on holiday, pictures of me looking kind of hot, and a picture I drew of myself.. basically i’m covering a lot of bases, and all of those photos have a talking point attached to them, which again gives something to talk about in the subsequent messaging.
POF Dating Profile Tips 6) The Opening Line
I will admit I must have sent THOUSANDS of messages to girls in the last year. THOUSANDS. Mainly I do it just to see what people respond to, i’ve tried everything and i’ve got a good idea what works, for me anyway.Heres a list of some of my opening lines
“I hate you”
“I just saw your profile and I DEMAND you write back to me and ask me out immediately! Hurry up!
” Hi, so i just moved into my flat and i need a girl to come round and just clean up and look after me, you start immediately. Please bring a mop”
” I had a really good message i was going to send to you, but i forgot to be honest, now all I have to say is ‘ughhh I fancy you’ .. so what are you going to do about that!”
“You have an amazing “…insert bodypart you like about her” , I really just had to message you, i think you should reward me by saying hello back”
POF Dating Profile Tips 7) Numbers Game
Thats a random list of openers i’ve tried, they are probably my most successful, you might hate them, you might like them, but either way they are the ones that worked well for me. I’ve tried other things like thinking of interesting things to say based on a girls profile or writing long messages, but for me this is inefficient.The most important thing to remember about POf Dating is that like all game it IS a numbers game. It’s a numbers game I will repeat that. There are going to be a lot of girls who dont like you, cant be arsed to reply, forget to reply etc. Dont stress about this, get over it and move on. But what it means is that dont waste your time writing long individual messages.Yes I do copy pasted messages, and some girls call me out on them, but so what, in general they work if they are good. I’ve seen no difference in response rate for individually witty messages and standard copy pasted ones.
POF Dating Profile Tips 8) Copy Paste Is Your Friend!
So I just copy paste everything. Sod it. Basically all your doing with your first message is getting a girl to bring her attention to you, look at your profile and give her a hook verbally to respond to. My most successful messages are ones that invite reply. Generally by being extra cheeky. I am cheeky in general, and i think being on the more aggressive side with girls is always a good thing, much better than being friendly and nice.
Whether its telling a girl to come clean my flat, telling to ask me out, telling her to say hello, i’m giving her a cheeky order. Which most girls kind of like.
I’ve often had discussions with girls about the sort of messages they recieve, and it amazes me the crap they get.
So remember that when a girl logs in she will have probably 20-30 messages to get through before she sees yours. So your opener has to be good to get noticed.
POF Dating Profile Tips 9) Mistakes To Avoid With The First Message
1) Writing far too much. I find more than 3 lines is too much. A girl doesnt have the time or patience to read an essay, she will ignore it straight away. Make your opener short and snappy.
2)Not being interesting or different. Saying ‘hey hows it going’ or ‘ how was your weekend’ is utter shit. Its basically not realising the level of competition going on. No girl will respond to it because she has a choice, unlike most guys. I get girls writing to me with that stuff and I dont respond, why would a girl!
3)Sending filth. It shows no balls. Going up to a girl in real life and telling her you want to f*ck her is unusual and takes courage. Online its normal. She will get 50% of all messages from guys saying whats on their mind, and normally thats that they want to f*ck her. All it shows is your typing one handed and are only after sex, which doesnt go down too well online. Stay away from this until you’ve built up some value.
Be aware of the numbers game thing again, realise how you have to try and stand out from the crowd, how little value you have initially, how no matter what you do there will be plenty of girls who dont respond and theres nothing you can do about it
4)Caring about getting girls to reply, dont stress about it if they dont, dont get angry with girls, dont send another message if they dont reply.. get over it and move onto someone else.